We should find out whether early marriages are reasonable or not, whether they are desirable or not, necessary or useless & only then we will be able to realize whether such relationships are successful or erroneous. If such alliance is firm & longlasting, if it brings happiness & satisfaction, there is no reason for anxiety & indignation, but if such relationships are unstable, unfavourable, bring only disappointments & give birth to a big amount of personal & social problems, there is need to feel concern.
Statistics of nodivorces is the most important index in showing if early marriages are successful or if they are a complete failure. If you want to discuss them from that point of view, you will not be able to say they are successful.
Numerous researches are the evidence of the following dependence: the more the age of newly-weds decreases, the more the number of nodivorce causes & the probability of unsuccessful marriages will be on the increase tremendeously. The interdependency between the ages of primary-marries & the amount of nodivorces is the following: the most successful marriage is when a groom is approximately 27 years old & a bride – 25 years old & only in such marriage the probability of nodivorce is very low, but a chance of their happy & successful family life is very high.
Here are some reasons for the numerous nodivorces in different families:
1. Age discrepancy ( the early marriage for a man is when he is under 20 years old; age difference in 3-4 years between a man & a woman, when woman is elder)
2. Unfavourable living conditions of a family
3. Lack of sexual experience
4. Absence of children
5. A short period of premarriage dating (3-6 months)
6. Lack of belief in love, in eternal or just permanent love
7. Marriage of convenience
8. Wrong ideas about life in marriage, about family wealth
9. Lack of respect, sympathy & trust
A famous Russian novelist Griboedov said, that maybe nobody needs to be very intelligent & wise for understanding how children are made, but everyone needs knowledge, grounding & intellect for a successful choice of a friend for the whole life, for proper sexual life, for giving necessary skills to potential mothers & fathers, for making a healthy family & just for achieving a simple human happiness. Being well grounded in marriage & family life is the most important aim of youngsters. But now it is more than just an aim, it is a serious problem & it is difficult to solve it. All people are tired of double morality & the time for accepting the new reality has come. Young people should be taught to work out problems, offered them by their lives.
Here are some of the statements that show deep feeling of dissatisfaction with family life:
“We supposed that we love each other. We supposed that after our marriage we would live happily. Everyone of us had his own vague ideas about our wedlock. We thought we would be free; we would do whatever we wanted. For example, if we did not want to wash the dishes, we would not do it, but everything turned out to be different.”
“I have lost a lot of important years of my life: I did not date, I did not share my room with my friend, I did not live apart, I did not work. If I had the opportunity to bring that years back, I would not get married so early.”
“I thought, I should have waited a little with my marriage at least till I had finished my school. It ties my hand & foot. I have not any joy, any gladness after my marriage. I can’t go out anywhere. I am not quite myself. I thought, he was the only man for me, he was my prince from my favourite fairy-tail. Now I realize, I was mistaken.”
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